i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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