I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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