some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I stole a fireplace last night.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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