How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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