From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
