I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
