my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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