Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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