You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
