i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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