Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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