I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
