Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
