My nipple is on Facebook.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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