I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
COCAINE IS GR8
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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