Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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