he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
