Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
