dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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