This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
