I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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