Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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