So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
