i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
