she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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