i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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