D3 body, D1 cock
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
