thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
