i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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