I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
