you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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