I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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