it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
