I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
