Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
