Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
