Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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