he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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