I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
