what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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