I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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