return my video game
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
high people should be assigned attendants
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
