I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
