i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
