Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
