By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
