hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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