Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
