does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
