I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Randomize
