Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
