try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
