i just had sex bonerless
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The ass gains better be worth it
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