My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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