maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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