i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
