omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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