Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
