What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
